I sneered at the dog on the pavement. Stretching itself on the concrete, under the pleasant mid October night it had no worries or thoughts to be concerned of. And, here I'm stuck with a question so intricate that I feel the two lobes of my brain derailed from spine. But something in me did want to know what is it? With curiosity brimming up my thoughts, I kept asking myself of the things that fitted his question. It was like playing ping-pong. For every answer that propped up I contradicted it with a reason. The very drama that I was going through reminded me of an episode in Family Guy where Stewie said, "Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside."
Night was taking it's toll on me. The old man had meanwhile taken a comfortable seat on the pavement and was staring at the night sky. He looked at me and realized the onset of tiredness and impatience in me. With seconds turning into fruitless minutes and scores of cigar buds lying dead at my feet, he got up with help of his stick and laid his wrinkled arm on my shoulder.
"It's memory."
"What !", I exclaimed. The invisible spirit that held me up till now vanished all of a sudden. I had the typical "What the ___ ?" expression painted on my face. I felt like a sand castle being suddenly washed away by the sea to nowhere. It was then I realized that I wasted my time with a fool who had no idea of what he is asking about.
With a tone of dejection I said, "memory ? You know what not only you have wasted my time by some crap but you are wasting yours too."
He kept looking at me with no remorse. I continued, "Why don't you go and sleep or spend some quality time with your family. No ! instead you search for some dunce like me who would fall into your heart scorching eyes and play this game with you."
After all the insults thrown down at him he mutters, " well what can I do babu?"
With a teary eye he explained," I lost my wife a few weeks back. My wife, was everything for me."
My hear sank to those words. I felt the blood inside my veins have frozen and pricking me from inside taunting of what a sick selfish species I'm.
"Day and night thoughts of her haunt me. She was the only family left for me. I have no kids to go to. I have no option but to live with the memory of hers to relish."
"And you want to know when it would end?",I asked like a lawyer finally understanding the case.
"Yes. How long can I torment myself."
I could now see the pain and anguish in his teary eyes. He continued to tell me the story of how he met his wife in their village and how she had supported him on each and every crossroads of his life. I had never understood the love one may have for someone who had been so close to them for such a long time.
With lips pressed hard between my teeth, I apologized to him. I felt bad for him. Though we live in a nation which has second largest population, but there are few shoulders to support a morally disowned old man. He gestured me in an affectionate way to leave. He didn't want me to be bothered any more.
"Babu, please forgive if I have wasted your time. But thank you for lending a part of soul to me."
"That's fine, Kaka. But with all due respect, wouldn't you want to know when life would end ?"
With a smile naturally borne on his lips he answered, "If I would have known that then on the first place I wouldn't have bothered you with the question."
With all humility I stubbed out my last cigar, patted him on his boney back, " You didn't !"
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