memoiR

One's mind is a journal of thoughts, memories and doodles of myriad imagination that flips its pages over and over throughout the life, making us realize of what, from and why we are today? For me, it has always been my family and my loved ones that made me what I'm. As any grand-kid on the face of this earth, I have always felt safe and warm on thinking about my grandparents (which I do still). The time that I had spent with them would outlive all the other moments of happiness. Aai has a special place in these golden moments. It wasn't her only grace or wittiness that amazed me as kid, but the small things that she used to do. Her daily routine of applying kajal, bindi and braiding of hair was what I looked out for in the summer morning. I remember sitting beside her with an opened mouth of unexplained curiosity while she carried out her routines with a smile and a sparkling glitter in her eye.

Several years passed by, as I moved one step at a time in life, moving from one place to other. The time being an unsteady component of one’s life, changed a lot of us with its flow and so did Aai. The weakening legs, wrinkly skin and the blatant face of forgetfulness, still remind me of Aai in her later years. She had lost her charismatic way of loving me for she had a hard time to place me in her blurry memories. But, I still hoped and saw the very love during my visit to her before leaving for USA. That afternoon, I remember seeing her sitting in the veranda all alone looking at the open portico for no one she expected. I approached her, sat next by her and with a smile kissed her on her cheeks giving back the same warmth and compassionate love that she had rendered me with as a kid. I knew it might be hard for her to remember and sing me 'ahe nila sahila' that she used to sing devoutly to make me sleep, but nevertheless I placed my head on her skinny lap and with a childly innocence asked her whether she remember what she used to sing to me as a kid. I saw the same glitter of her love in her eyes as she patted me and hummed to a sleep for the lost dreams of our life.

I love you and miss you Aai for all the beautiful things in life that you have always taught me.

abyss of forlornness

With closed blue eyes I leap
into the deep gorge of reality,
I fly, I glide then I fall deep
along the sweet gust of levity.

Lofting me to a new end of life
piercing pain shivers down my spine,
I impale on the rock of truth, not lie
with shattered dreams and it's chime.

All I had to see is clearly seen ,
all I had to hear is said and heed
but all that in life I longed to feel,
is taken heartlessly far away from me.

Bliss..

Fly1ng Und3r 1nfluenc3

Inseparable...

CAUTION

and behold.. my madness involving paint has started..

by the Current...

Lifeless Screech..

Fly, fly o' my restless soul
wrapped in a smile
snugged in a frown
fly high across the deep blue sky

'with a creased heart deep within
that beats with grief all it's life
swirling thoughts all the time
flow down it's vein slime by slime

Fly, fly o' my boundless soul
away from the ruthless self
glide in the lifeless night
with the slyly moon by your side.